Once again I am (perhaps wrongly) amazed by how some people can be so kind. As with my many other failings as an author, with this brutal review so many people stepped up and encouraged me. It wasn’t all ‘you’re awesome don’t listen’ either- the grammar points were right. I’m going to take the time to read through Larkspur again and see if I can see any of the glaring errors. I’ll dig up my grammar books and try to finally learn what a damn comma splice it.
But a lot of what was said was nice too. Readers refuted the idea that there was no gothic tone to the story, and authors told me to let it go and just continue to write. One suggested I look up the 1-star reviews for my favourite books. That was another level of shocked and yet amused.
Yesterday I actually thought about stopping. With writing that is. I adore my stories and world, but I could still think and dream up the scenarios without putting them to paper. Then I realized how many people want the more that I keep promising. That, even if not perfect, it was above ‘slush pile hell.’ I thought about all the stories I love, and how there just isn’t enough with the themes that I want- maybe people writing these stories aren’t publishing them. I should try to be different.
So thank you everyone, for dealing with a whiney newbie author and her #writerproblems.
I got a new review today! Yay! But, wait.. it’s a 1 star. Damn. At least they left a rating and a review, maybe I can see what they thought was wrong?
Oh. Everything is wrong with it. Well…
“There isn’t a story here that will change the way you feel about other people, the viewpoint through which you see the world. Only an attempt to emulate far better stories that falls short of the mark. This work is truly and solidly dead, and even a necrocræfter can’t do much to solve that.”
Now this reviewer says he knows me, but I don’t recognize the full name. This could mean anything from someone on reddit, to a chat/forum I frequent, to the writer group I attended last week. I’m inclined to think it’s from a chat and so now I’m hesitant about going back to that channel. I’m still sorting through my feelings about the review. On one hand I’m angry, because writing is my thing. I know Larkspur is part from perfect, but I don’t believe it’s dead by any means. Yet at the same time this seems to ‘confirm’ all of my fears that I’m actually not a good writer and what am I even doing writing books?
And while this could have come at a worse time, now’s pretty bad too. I was going to take today and tomorrow and write up a storm and finish up book 2. Now that feels like a chore.
Part of me still wants to write though. A fairly large part actually just wants to reply with ‘fuck you’ and keep writing. Yay self-esteem?
That isn’t to say everything the guy said was wrong either. I do have some grammar problems. I’ve gone through and tried to catch them, any readers I have who point out an error I go and fix right away. But saying I’m just emulating a style better than mine, and I manage to fail… that’s harsh.
Still processing my feelings. After I get back from Church I’ll make a pot of tea, find some good background music/noise, and write.
I hit 275 sales two days ago! I’m now at 277 actually, and hoping that I can hit 300 before Delphinium’s out.
I haven’t been around lately. Life got in the way, and not the good parts of it, so I haven’t been writing or online. Most of that has been fixed (and hopefully it stays that way).
My first priority will be to finish Delphinium. I truly am trying to make it the best book I can and well-worth the wait. While it has been dragging several weeks, it has just been 5 months since Larkspur’s release, so at least I’m still on ‘normal author’ level drag.
Well, today’s promo didn’t get me any sales. A pity, but it was only $5 and that’s alright. I think I got some views at least and maybe it’ll interest someone later on.
In other news, I’m trying the ‘bump my price’ thing again. I attempted it a few weeks ago but it didn’t go through and I just kept Larkspur at .99cents. Now I’m moving the Draft2Digital price up first, and then I’ll change Amazon so that they don’t have a problem with competing lower prices.
I’m doing this for two reasons: 1) interest. I just sort of want to know if I’d still get sales the same way, or more or less, for 2 bucks more. Yes, Larkspur is short. But 99cents looks cheap.. and anyways (this is 2) I’ve also seen books that are far shorter than Larkspur and they do sell at 2.99.
I’m in my last week of summer courses, so writing essays and taking exams still, should be free by next week.
I hate not having any self-esteem. I should have released the second book by now, but I’m still… working on it. And by that I mean I’m worried what I do have is shit, and thinking anything I add or change would just make it worse. It’s the reason it took me 2 years to write Larkspur. I just.. can’t. I thought the positive response would help and I could do that “write a book a month” thing and I..
I can type fast. I spend every night thinking about Noctuina and varying characters. I just can’t relax enough to let everything else go and type. I’m too busy thinking about what it means to be a writer, if people will even like anything I do, and am I sure those people who liked it weren’t messing with me? I’m procrastinating about doing the thing I keep saying I love to do!
It’s stupid. I’m shooting myself in the foot, and every day I wait and put it off is another day the wound could start to fester. I’m a nobody. The Internet won’t give a shit about my work if I don’t do something more and give them a reason to notice.